Tag Archives: funny children

Sorry to Embarrass You…

13 Aug

Today’s daily prompt is titled “Too Soon?”  and is asking if there are some topics that are off limits when it comes to writing humorously (http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/08/13/daily-prompt-funny-2/).  I know there are.  For instance, you wouldn’t want to give a funny account of a funeral and you certainly wouldn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

There have been several blogs lately written by different parents about things concerning their children that would be off limits because they didn’t want their children to be embarrassed.  This made me think, do I need to think more carefully about what I post, or about the pictures that I post?

You know, our children will one day read these blogs that are currently so popular.  I hope that Charlie and Maddie will at some point in the future read this blog-it has taken the place of our family scrapbooks! What’s more, their friends or future spouses might read this blog, and do I want to write anything that might be embarrassing to their future selves?

Our days are filled with hilarity.  The kids are so funny to me.  Their little voices and facial expressions crack me up, and quite honestly if I don’t find our everyday situations funny, I will probably go off the deep end. Being a stay-at-home mom of a 2 and 4-year old is great, but it is hard.

After much contemplation on this subject, I decided to leave a description of Charlie’s early morning dance party to Flo-rida’s “Wild One” in his Spiderman undies out of this post.  Too bad, because the pictures were so cute. But his future girlfriend doesn’t need to know about that, does she?

I decided to illuminate you on some of the conversations that the kids and I had today.  I feel so enlightened after the conversations, and I know you will, to.

The first convo took place in the car on our way to the vet:

Charlie: Mom, how do cats miss ya?

Me: I don’t know, Charlie.

Maddie (trying on sunglasses): Look at me, Mom!

Charlie: Mommy, does Daddy like Aqua Pods?

Me: I don’t know, honey.

Charlie: Will you call him when we get home and find out if he likes Aqua Pods?

Me: Yes.

Maddie: Look at me, Charlie!

Charlie: Holy cow, look at that tree!

Maddie: Roll my window down!

Me: Wow!

Maddie: Roll my window up!

Charlie: Is 28 the biggest number?

Me: Biggest out of what?

Charlie: Is 25 a bigger number than 58?

Maddie: Roll my window down!

You get the picture, right?  It is only by the grace of God that we actually get anywhere that we are going.


Amazingly enough, our lunchtime conversation topped that one:

Charlie: Look mommy, I made a shark with my sandwich and a chip.


Maddie (about halfway through her sandwich): I need to pee.

Me: Well, go pee.  You know where the bathroom is.

Maddie: Don’t eat my food, okay?


Me: No one is going to eat your food, Maddie.

Charlie: I can wipe my butt.

Me: I know, Charlie.  That’s great.

Charlie: How did you know?

And so our days go on and on.  To the future Charlie and Maddie: I hope this isn’t too embarrassing to you. But realistically, if this is the worst embarrassment I expose you to, I won’t have done my job as your mother.  The world is embarrassing, and I am just preparing you for it.  Sorry if it’s too soon.






Boys vs. Girls: I Love You

8 Aug

What a day (a week, rather) we are having!  We have been super busy getting ready for Vacation Bible School at my church, and thankfully have a day off today.  We are so excited to see what God is going to do in our church and community this weekend.  

Anyway, we are spending the day doing whatever we want to do.  We went to storytime this morning and came home and picked tons of veggies from the garden, and now I am canning some tomatoes and pickles while the kids are playing.  Charlie is outside torturing the cats with his spray bottle full of water and Maddie is upstairs doing who knows what. 

I just wanted to share this quick snippet of a lunchtime conversation between the kids and myself.

Maddie has been really into Barney lately.  She LOVES the “I Love You” song.  I found a YouTube video that plays it over and over and over, so I don’t have to keep starting it over for her.  Here’s the link if you are in the same situation: www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmpMO2dJQ6Q.  

Maddie has her own version of the song:

You wuv me,

You wuv me,

We’we a appy famawie,

With a wug, wug, wug,

An a kiss fwum you to me,

You wuv me, me, me, me, me.


I just love this.  Maddie can’t say the “H” sound yet, and substitutes it with a “W”. Plus, she gives the biggest hugs and just smacks her lips to go along with the words.  It is precious.  

What I most love about Maddie’s version is that she focuses on the fact that we love her, not that she loves us.  It reminds me of the Disciple John, who refers to himself as the “one who Jesus loved,” not because he was being conceited but because he just couldn’t believe that he was loved by Jesus, God’s son!  I feel that way sometimes about God’s love for me, too!

During lunch today Charlie busted out with his version of the song:

I love poots,

You love poots,

Poots, Poots, Poots, Poots, Poots, Poots, Poots,

With a great big poot,

And a pooty, pooty, poot,

Poot, poot, poot, poot, poot, poot, poot.


He is very special to us.

Nothing like a little love between siblings.

Nothing like a little love between siblings.

The daycare diaries: Biting

5 Aug

Today another child at daycare bit Emma. This is the first time that Emma has been bitten. I have gotten notes sent home warning me of infectious diarrhea, vomiting, green snot, bumps, bruises, scrapes and scratches but I have never gotten a note warning me about the human teeth marks on my kid. I’m sure most moms would be mad and I do hate that some gross little kid was gnawing on Emma’s arm but the note sent home was the funniest note ever. I find it amusing that the people at daycare spend so much time with children that they tend to speak to everyone as if they were a child. That is the only explanation I can find to explain this poem that was handed to me today when I picked Emma up.

My teeth are here…HIP! HIP! HOORAY!!!
(I wonder who I can bite today?)
I’ve got to try them out, you see.
I must find out if they’ll work for me!!

My teachers say “Now you must not bite,”
“It hurts your friends and fills them with fright.”
So I’m trying to keep my teeth to myself
And be nice to my friends like a good little elf.

But please be patient as I go through this phase.
It is necessary to my development in varying ways.
And I will continue to do my best,
To use my words when my emotions they test.

Wow. Emma obviously can’t read, so this little poem was meant for me. I feel like I should respond with a poem for the daycare teachers.

Hey I just turned thirty-two.
This may be a surprise to you.
When you tell me how Emma did,
Don’t talk to me like I’m a kid.
I can read and I can write
And teach my kid not to bite.
But if some child invades her space
I hope she’ll slap them in the face.

Big Boy Charlie (aka Spiderman, Baby Bird, or Musketeer)

5 Jan

Charlie is cracking me up right now.  He just got out of bed to use the bathroom.  I am sitting in our office which is just right down the hall from his bathroom, and he talked to me the entire time he was using the bathroom (though I honestly don’t know what he said-I just agreed and said uh-huh).  When he was finished he poked his head into the office to tell me night-night and I followed him, thinking he would need my help getting back into bed and turning off his lamp and things.  He said “I can do it myself” and shut the door in my face!  What??!!!!

I honestly don’t know whether to laugh or cry!