Tag Archives: humorous mothering

How Motherhood is Like College…

4 Jun

1.  You find yourself wearing a bathing suit and going down a slip-n-slide at 10:00 in the morning. 

In college you do things like this at random times just because you can and because you want to wear a bikini as much as possible.

I had to go down the slip-n-slide this morning to show Charlie and Maddie how to do it. I was praying the entire time that no one would walk around the house and see my in my bikini.

2. You eat lots of peanut butter and jelly, grilled cheese sandwiches, ramen noodles, and macaroni and cheese (out of the blue box-not the gourmet kind).

In college, these things are cheap and easy.

As a mother, these things are cheap and easy.

3. You go to lots of parties.

College: frat parties, tailgating, hurricane parties, the list goes on.

Motherhood: birthday parties, library parties, tea parties, the list goes on.

4. You worry about exams.

This is what college is all about, isn’t it?

College didn’t prepare me for the kindergarten entrance exams!  Thank goodness I am not dealing with that yet, because I have some mommy friends who are really stressing out over this!

5. You spend a lot of time listening to other people talk about things they think are really important.

I spent thousands of hours in college listening to college professors drone on and on about different things that they thought were just so important.  Aren’t college professors so self-absorbed?

Now, I spend several hours every day listening to a 2 and 4-year old drone on and on about things like Superman, Batman, toys, legos, etc.  I am not sure what Maddie goes on about, but she does end every sentence with “okay?” and I always agree with her.  Aren’t preschoolers so self-absorbed?

6. You play lots of games.

I won’t mention the games we played in college.

As a mother, I spend a lot of time playing Candy Land (which Charlie always turns into a strange superhero game where he rescues me from Lord Licorice), Hi-Ho Cherrio, and Hide-and-Seek.

7.  You’re always late, and it is usually someone else’s fault.

Well, okay, in college it was my own fault.

Now, I totally blame the children.

8. You sometimes stay up all night.

Remember when it was nothing to stay up all night?  It just didn’t effect us one bit.

As a mother we are sometimes up at random times during the night dealing with sickness, nightmares, or loneliness.  Charlie scared the living daylights out of me at 4:00 this morning when I woke up to find him standing next to my bed staring at me. It was so creepy.

Now, being up at night makes me really grumpy.

9. You share a bathroom with a lot of people who don’t give you any privacy.

In my freshman dorm we had a huge bathroom that half of the floor shared.  Anytime we flushed the toilet we had to yell out “FLUSH” so the people in the showers could stand out of the water and not get scalded. I yelled “FLUSH” for years after that out of pure habit.

Now I see that the lack of privacy then was just preparation for being a mother.  I hardly ever use the toilet, or shower, without a little person watching me or asking me what I am doing.  A friend once told me that anytime she needs the entire family’s attention, she just sits on the toilet and everyone (including the hubs) suddenly appears!

10.  There is always a wild child or mama’s boy you try to avoid.

In college, there were certain people you tried to avoid.  The crazy kid who would end up with an eyebrow missing by the end of the night, or the grown man who didn’t know how to do his laundry or clean his toilet because his mama did everything for him.

These same people are still present now!  The crazy kid who will cut a chunk out of your child’s hair or the kid with the hovering mother.


College and motherhood are both wild times, aren’t they?  You just never know what to expect, but it’s so fun.

Any more comparisons between your college experience and your mothering experience?  I would love to hear them!